The Calendar Hung Itself

Well the clock's heart it hangs inside its open chest 

With hands stretched towards the calendar hanging itself 

But I will not weep for those dying days. 
For all the ones who've left there's a few that stayed. 
And they found me here and pulled me from the grass where I was laid.
- Bright Eyes


Although I do not weep anymore, it still hurts and keeps me up at times.

Roslyn

Up with your turret
Aren't we just terrified? 
She’ll scream your worry from what you won't ever find

Don't let it fool you 
Don't let it fool you...down 
Dancing around, folds in her gown 

Sea and the rock below 
Caught in the undertow
Bones, blood and teeth erode, they will be crashing low

Wings wouldn't help you 
Wings wouldn't help you...down 
Down fells the ground, gravity smiled

You barely are blinking 
Wagging your face around 
When'd this just become a mortal home? 

Won't, won't, won't, won't 

Won't let you talk me 
Won't let you talk me…down 
We’ll pull it taut, nothing let out


This is a song by Bon Iver and St. Vincent.  It is sadly from the New Moon soundtrack :( but I love Bon Iver too much to care.  You have to listen to the song to get the full effect but it is AMAZING!  It is songs like this and the Sufjan Stevens' song from my previous post that remind me why I love music so much.  The beauty of the instruments and the power of the lyrics that make you truly feel something.  


I don't know what I would do without music. It has always been a huge part of my life and a constant with in it.  I can see very clearly a picture of me when I'm 2 years old or so, wearing my dad's headphones which have to be almost the size of my face.  Music has such a power in it.  You or at least I can always find music to fit the mood I'm in, which helps to keep me in the good ones and bring me out of the bad ones.  I have never been great with words when it comes to expressing the stronger emotions.  I can however find a song or a group of songs that express it for me.  


So I guess this is my thank you letter to music because I don't thank it enough. I thank God also for allowing us to be able to create and share music with each other.

To Be Alone With You

I'd swim across lake Michigan
I'd sell my shoes
I'd give my body to be back again
In the rest of the room

To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you
To be alone with you

You gave your body to the lonely
They took your clothes
You gave up a wife and a family
You gave your goals

To be alone with me
To be alone with me
To be alone with me
You went up on a tree

To be alone with me you went up on the tree

I'll never know the man who loved me


-Sufjan Stevens

Spring Break

Spring break starts tomorrow, after classes of course. I am both excited and reflective at this time. My spring break plans have changed a lot over the last few weeks. On one hand I'm excited to be able to relax and not worry about school for a week. On the other hand I used to have a lot of plans for this break. Now I have to go through it without those plans and knowing that I would probably being doing this or that right now. I have moments where I think way too much on these things and it weighs me down. I don't want them hovering over me the whole break.

I want to move on but I feel like something happens or comes up that won't allow me to.

I pray that He will be close during this break and guide me towards things that will keep my mind off stuff. I pray that He will give me strength during these times and I thank Him for the amazing people He has surrounded me with.

"If ever you come near I'll hold up high a mirror. Lord, I could never show you anything as beautiful as You." -mewithoutYou

Catching Up

I always hate losing an hour of sleep when we have to change time. I am really tired and it didn't help that I stayed up late to finish watching season 5 of Lost. I had to get up at 9 for church and went to bed around 4:30. So I got about 4 hours of sleep and when we arrived at the church we realized there was no church today. My church has 1 sunday every 4 to 6 weeks where we don't meet and different small groups do things in the community.

This week is my last week before spring break. I don't have any midterms which is nice. I'm really looking forward to relaxing, sleeping a lot, and watching march madness. All of my housemates, except Ryan are going back to their hometowns for the break so it will basically just be me. Ryan won't be around because he is doing student teaching. It should be interesting not having much to do and no one really around. It is only a week though.

Anyways... I have homework to do so I should get to doing that :( Oh and if you ever have a chance to see the play Is He Dead? then you should! My school was putting on the play and I saw it last night. It was really funny!

Songs that helped me tonight...

Awesome Passion Pit Video

I Don't Know...

I don't know what to think right now. Life has thrown me a curve ball and I need to process it all. I went out with one of my good friend's girlfriend for her 21st birthday. It was going pretty well considering but when we arrived at the last place things got ridiculous. There was this guy who she invited to go out drinking and as the night progressed started to get closer and closer to her. I ended up having to spend most of the time just being around her and watching him while not trying to put this guy into a mood where he would want to punch me. It was not my ideal night but I think she had fun and that's what counts.

On another note I am going to see one of my best friends this weekend and I am grateful for the timing. I think I just need to spend some time thinking and processing and at the same time get my mind off of things before taking any other steps. I think the best thing to do is to slow down and evaluate and not rush things because things never come out correctly when I do that.

Well, it is late and I have class tomorrow...

The Best Family Guy Scene Ever!

Cosmic Love

I was looking through Cait's blog and saw the lyrics for a Florence + the Machine song called Cosmic Love. I thought they were really awesome and loved the last two verses of the song.

"I took the stars from my eyes
and then I made a map
I knew that somehow
I could find my way back

Then I heard your heart beating
You were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you..."